flying sharks

Once upon a time lived a kangaroo.

Hey, wasn't this blog a lot more funny before Bush actually won again?

Uppity (Liberal) Women

I just don't understand how all of these minorities - blacks, immigrants, women - got the right to vote. Now, despite how despicable they may be, blacks and immigrants are a topic for another time, right now: women.

Women just don't really need to vote. Everybody knows that all that they do [or should do, at least] all day is sit around the house and take care of the children while cooking and watching soap operas. They aren't informed of political issues, they don't know what is going on in the world. And, by golly, they should not be. Just think, if these females started watching the news they would stop taking care of our nation, Under God's children.

In addition to this, every single time the woman has sexual relations [because, you see, the average woman is a whore. Every good Christian knows that one should only have sex for procreation and one should never enjoy it. That's against God's way.] it's equivalent to her selling her vote. Because everybody knows that women don't really think, they just latch on to others' opinions. So if this hypothetical woman was having sexual intercourse with a man out of wedlock [obviously they are Liberals because only Liberals have premarital sex. this is another instance that the death penalty would come in handy] and he whispered in her ear, "Oh woman with whom I am fornicating, won't you please vote for that Liberal candidate John Kerry?" she would do it. This is not the way to a good democratic system.

In another growing trend, women are getting entirely too uppity lately. Now they want to kill their babies and get upset when the Good Christians of our nation tell them that this is unacceptable behaviour. As one of my fellow authors pointed our ina previous post, life - as well as the soul - is formed at conception and if is the worst sin ever to take a human life. These baby killer, anti-life Liberals are just the source of all evil in the world. Masturbation is also, as a commenter pointed out, "evil and unnatural". When people masturbate it is exactly like killing children. And everybody knows why the Liberals want to kill children. Because they are afraid that the children will grow up to be good law-abiding Republican Christians in our United States Under God Our Holy Master of America.

Just another string of examples of why Liberals are the Agents of Lucifer, the Devil and Enemy of our Lord.

Liberal Drug Use

Another thing that is terribly wrong with Liberals: they allow websites like Erowid.org to exist. As we all know, marijuana is the scourge of the devil. It steals young children from their religious beliefs and leads them down the path of drug abuse and whatnot. They start smoking the marijuana and they enter the forbidden dark gateway of harder drugs. They start stealing and they can only have fun by messing up their brain functions.

Is this what you want for the future of our population? A bunch of doped up zombies wandering around looking for their next fix?

I believe in the deaht penalty and I believe in it for drug users. Their type should not be welcome in our United States Under Our Lord Jesus Of America.

Homosexual Liberals

I come back here to make another go at freeing people from their terrible liberal views and, what do I see but a comment claiming that gay people cannot get married. Well, my friend, there you are incorrect. As Orson Scott Card said, homosexuals certainly can get married, they just must find a member of the opposite sex willing to marry them. It's as easy as that.

Also, the 1st and 14th amendments may protect you but not if you're breaking the law. Unless you are in one of the states where engaging in homosexual behaviour is legal, you really have no protection there. The profile of the commenter claims that he is moving to Kansas in July, if this really is the case, I'd liek to declare that I am from Kansas and I know for a fact that being homosexual is illegal in our great and noble state.

I can also see that the Liberals are not only scumbags but also wimps. They hide behind their 'anonymous' name in the comments of our great weblog thus showing that they cannot really stand up and declare their true opinions without attempting to disguise themselves. If your views were worthwhile you would not state them anonymously.

America, our great nation Under God, as a bully

A previous comment rather rudely pointed out to me that America not following the Geneva Convention "makes us look like bullies to the rest of the world."

My question to you, my conservative friends and liberal enemies, is, why shouldn't America be a bully? Everybody knows that all of those little worthless third-world countries such as Zimbabwe, France, Iraq, Afganistan, and England would not get by if not for us! Who do they export their goods to? Who gives them aid when thye need it? Who pays for them when they cannot pick up a resteraunt bill? Yes. That is all the Holy United Conservative States of America. If you are not with us, you are against us. That is the way it's been since this great country was started and this is the way it shall always be.

Also, of course Bush is a War Hero. He is sending Americans to Fight in Iraq because he is too busy leading the country. If he was not leading the country, our great and noble America, then all really would be lost. We could not survive if we did not have him for president. This is why he, himself, cannot go and fight. He is too patriotic to do that.

Another thing about the liberals that I absolutely hate. Waht is it with their insistence that "under God" should be taken out of the Pledge of Alliegience? I mean, if the founders of this country had not wnted it there, thy would nt ohave put it there. What next? Take our holy Lord, Saviour of Mankind, and Holy Father, our God off of money? Out of God Bless America? What will these liberals want? We already know that if we give them an inch they'll next want a country. Those liberal scumbags. They should have been the fisrt to be put in the concentration camps.

Gay Marriage

If those hippy liberals have their way, gays won't just be invading our homes on "Will and Grace", but they'll be invading the holy sanctity of marriage!

Sign the petition and buy a t-shirt to show those sodomites what we think!

the fall of this noble Nation

I was reading a printed version of Fox News the other day and I heard of terrible atrocities being commited in our great nation. By liberals.

The gays are marrying each other in Massachusetts; Kansas, the one state that anybodyin the old days could rely on for good, old-fashined conservative behaviour, voted AGAINST an amendment banning gay marriage, and all of the United States is in shambles. Because of the liberals.

That John Kerry character is trying to defeat our Great Lord and War Hero, George W. Bush. If that isn't the darndest thing then I just don't know what is. George W. Bush stood up to those damn Iraqi terrorists that caused Septemeber 11th (along with the homosexuals, of course) and those Islamics deserve waht they got from our noble American forces in the Middle-East. They got nothing more or less than what they deserved. Let's not forget that they brutally chopped off the head of one of our Americans AND bombded our World Trade Center.

Everbody who is anybody knows that this Kerry monster is a fraud, anyway. He THREW his medals at the WHITE HOUSE to protest the VIETNAM WAR. But, you know, he was greedy and didn't really throw the medals that he'd earned (earned by lying and cheating, that is. unlike our George W. Bush who wanted the war in Viet-Nam) he threw copies of the medals or just the ribbons. Waht a fraud. He makes me sick. That Kerry bastard.

Wow, I was listening to the radio today and some of that music should really be banned. It's just profane. I dont see how anybody can be allowed to listen to it. All of their euphamisms for the private parts of males and females just makes me uncomfortable. Plus, all of that Satanic music (rock, rap, metal) really is quite offensive. Next teenagers will stop going to church like I do every three days.

Then our country will really go downhill.

Love forever,
Anastasia
(me@ithinkso.org)